How Do You Know When You're Living Your Truth? A Winter Solstice Reflection

At the threshold of a new year, the darkness asks us the questions we've been avoiding. Are you ready to answer?

Introduction

Here's a question for you: If your life ended tomorrow, would you feel like you'd really lived it?

Not the life you were supposed to live, or the one that looks good on paper, or even the one that keeps everyone else happy. Your life. The one that feels like yours, all the way down to your bones.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially at this threshold moment between the winter solstice and the new year. There's something about the darkness of this season that strips away the noise and leaves us with the essential questions. And the one I keep coming back to – the one I keep hearing from the women I work with – is this: How do we know when we're living our truth?

Maybe it's my age (hello, perimenopause and the delicious badassery that comes with it), or maybe it's the times we're living in, but I'm noticing more and more of us are less willing to settle. We're tired of accepting the rubbish state of affairs. We're done playing small.

But knowing you want to live more authentically and actually knowing how to do it? Those are two very different things.

In this post, I'm going to share what I've discovered about finding and living your truth – not as some Instagram-worthy concept, but as a daily practice. You'll learn how to recognise that essential self underneath all the conditioning, what to do when you realise you're off-track, and why you can't – and shouldn't – do this work alone.

There's an Essence That's Always Been There

You weren't born as a blank slate. You came in with a spark that's uniquely yours.

One of the most powerful realisations in my own journey – and in working with hundreds of clients over the years – is this: underneath all the stories we've picked up, the trauma big and small, the conditioning that's pushed us in one direction or another, there's a core self that's always been there.

If you have children, you know exactly what I mean. My son has always been him. Even as a baby, his personality was so strong, so uniquely his, it almost didn't matter what I did – he was always going to be himself. When my daughter arrived, all headstrong from the beginning, really clear about her needs and resistant to anything that didn't go her way, I had this moment of: "Oh... I see... It has nothing to do with me that he's so chilled. That's just his way."

You know what the winter solstice teaches us? That even in the deepest darkness, the light is there. It's always been there. Sometimes we just need the darkness to remember how to find it again.

The same is true for you. There's a thread that's been guiding you since birth. A version of you that's always shone through. And when we can observe ourselves with that knowing, we can separate ourselves from the negative voices, distance ourselves from limiting beliefs, and ask: Is this thought helping me contribute in a way that supports life?

Growth Doesn't Always Look Like Comfort

The more you realise what you're here to do, the more you might realise certain aspects of your life need to shift. And that's not always easy.

Here's what nobody tells you about living your truth: it's not a straight line to happiness and ease. Sometimes, the more aligned you become with who you really are, the more uncomfortable things get.

Whether your calling is to be the best parent you can be whilst undoing ancestral trauma (wouldn't the world be better if we all committed to that?), or to change the education system, or to lead with heart instead of head in your work – it's a mission. Something uniquely yours. And it can evolve.

Years ago, I worked on the front lines of social work in inner cities, I’ve also travelled to conflict zones and refugee camps with traumatised populations. At the time, I thought that was my big mission – the thing I was here to do. And it was deeply meaningful work. But as I evolved, as my understanding grew, I realised my calling was shifting. The work with connection, with helping people come home to themselves first so they can show up in the world – that became clearer.

It wasn't that the earlier work was wrong; it was part of the path. But I had to be willing to let go of an identity I'd built, a way I'd defined myself, to step into what was calling me next.

That's what living your truth asks of us sometimes – the courage to evolve. The willingness to say, "I thought I wanted that, but actually, this is calling me now." The strength to rock the boat when life is comfortable but something deeper is whispering that there's more.

As Mary Oliver asks: "Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

This time of year – this darkness, this pause, this turning point – it's asking you that question. Not "what are you going to do in January?" but what are you going to do with this life?

We're Not Meant to Do This Alone

The quality of our relationships is the single strongest predictor of our happiness and health. Connection isn't optional – it's essential.

I'm coming across more and more people who are carrying a grief about the lack of eldership and community in our lives. It's sad and difficult that we don't have elders gathered around the fire at this time of year, telling stories that help us make sense of the darkness and find our way through to the light.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development – one of the longest-running studies on human happiness – found that the quality of our relationships is the single strongest predictor of our happiness and health over our lifetime. Not money. Not success. Not even physical health initially. But connection.

And we feel the absence of real connection especially at Christmas, don't we? When we're meant to be surrounded by family and joy, but sometimes we're just going through the motions, or we're with people but not really connected, or we're actually alone and pretending we're fine with it.

More and more of us are finding genuine connection through shared interests in growth and learning, spirituality, nature connection, dance, crafts, foraging – even in winter solstice gatherings and seasonal ceremonies. These are the places I'm seeing the strongest communities of authentic people, embodying vulnerability and genuine desire for connection.

Let me tell you about Sally, one of my recent one-to-one clients. When she started working with me, she was at a crossroads. Her daughters had grown and didn't need her as much. She'd been learning for years but really needed to explore her next steps.

Through our work together, she explored depths she hadn't met before. She grew to understand herself as the sovereign, wise, empowered woman she is. She created an incredible project, led in a way she feels proud of, and is now leading a community that didn't exist before.

"It's wonderful now," she told me, "and I'm ready to step boldly into my coming years with curiosity and courage."

That's what this work looks like when we commit to it – not perfection, not having it all figured out, but that quality of being ready. Of stepping boldly. Of curiosity and courage.

Conclusion: Standing at the Threshold

So how do you know when you're living your truth?

You feel it. In your body, in that quality of rightness, in the way you move through your days. You know it when you wake up and feel aligned, when your actions match your values, when you're not constantly explaining yourself or making excuses for choices that don't fit you.

You also know when you're not living it – that nagging feeling, that sense of being off-track, that exhaustion that comes not from hard work but from working against your own grain.

Here we are, at the threshold. The solstice has turned, the light is returning, and we're standing in that space between what was and what will be. This isn't about New Year's resolutions – those surface promises we make and break. This is about something deeper.

Your truth is in there. It's been there all along, underneath everything else. And this threshold time – this turning – it's the perfect moment to recommit to uncovering it, to living from it, to letting it guide you.

Three Practices to Help You Find Your Way Back to Your Truth

Now that we've explored these themes together, I want to give you some simple, tangible practices you can use right now – at this threshold moment – to reconnect with your truth.

Practice 1: Remembering Your Essential Self

Think back to who you were as a child, before you learned to edit yourself. What did you love? What came naturally? What did adults comment on about your personality?

Take a few moments to write down three qualities that have always been true about you – the ones that show up whether you're five or fifty. These are clues to your essential self, the thread that's been guiding you all along.

Practice 2: Completing the Truth Sentence

This one is deceptively simple but incredibly powerful. Complete this sentence honestly: "If I were being completely true to myself right now, I would..."

Don't censor it. Don't make it sensible or reasonable. Just let the truth come through, even if it scares you. Write whatever arises without judgment.

Then ask yourself: what's the smallest step I could take towards that truth this week? Not the whole journey – just one small, doable step.

Practice 3: Finding Your People

Where do you currently feel most authentically connected? It might be a class, a friendship, an online community, or even time in nature.

Make a commitment to spend more time there. Put it in your calendar. Treat it as non-negotiable as any other important appointment.

And if you can't think of anywhere you feel that authentic connection? That's your sign that it's time to seek out your people. They're out there, looking for you too. Whether it's a course, a seasonal gathering, a dance class, or a foraging group – follow what calls to you.

Ready to dive deeper?

Listen to the full podcast episode where I explore these themes in much more detail, share more stories, and guide you through what it really means to live authentically.

Download your free Purpose Foundations guide – a powerful process to help you clarify what you're really here to do, so you can make decisions with more ease and grace.

And if you're feeling called to explore what coaching could look like for you as you step into this new cycle, I'm offering deep dive one-off sessions for just £97 – a minimal fee so you can feel into what it might be like to have support as you navigate your truth. Connection@leonajohnson.life

The light is returning. Let's step into it together.

What's whispering to you in this threshold time? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below, or connect with me on [insert social media links].