‘I Cannot Be Bothered’: What Your Resistance Is Really Trying to Tell You

When exhaustion isn't laziness, it's transformation knocking at your door

Have you ever woken up and felt like you just... can't?

Not in a dramatic, crisis-level way. Just that low-grade, persistent feeling where everything, even the things you normally love, feels like wading through treacle. Where the idea of making the changes you know you need feels absolutely impossible, and you find yourself thinking, "I literally cannot be bothered."

Here's what I want you to know right now: that feeling isn't a character flaw. It's a sign.

I know this intimately because I've just come out of my own funk. The kind where I found myself gently avoiding (and not-so-gently shaming myself for) the very things I knew I needed to do. The fear of taking on too much after spending so much of this year shedding old identities and ways of being. The resistance to stepping into the next version of myself, even though I could feel her calling.

And through that process, both in my own experience and in working with clients who find themselves in this exact place, I've learned something crucial: when you can't be bothered, transformation is already happening. You're just in that uncomfortable space between who you've been and who you're becoming.

In this post, I'm going to share what this resistance really means, the patterns it creates, and most importantly, how to move through it with compassion instead of shame. Because the way out isn't through forcing, it's through awareness.

The Moment Everything Shifts (And Then Nothing Changes)

Sometimes transformation announces itself dramatically. You're on a retreat, in a ceremony, on a long walk in the hills, at a family gathering and something shifts. You know something in your bones, a bigger vision is calling, a different way of being is possible, a clearer truth about what needs to change.

But more often, it's quieter than that.

It's waking up one morning and realising you're just going through the motions. The work that used to light you up feels flat. The routines that once gave you comfort now feel empty. Nothing is catastrophically wrong, but nothing feels quite right either.

And then? Life goes on. Monday comes. You're back in the same house, showing up to the same work, living the same routines. You've had this profound realisation that change needs to happen... and yet everything around you is exactly the same.

That's when the "I can't be bothered" feeling settles in.

Suddenly, everything feels like hard work. The idea of change feels daunting, overwhelming, too big to manage. The voices start: "I'm not ready. I couldn't handle more responsibility. I don't have the energy for this right now."

This is one of the most common patterns I see, both in myself and with my clients. We receive the download, we feel the call, but then the practical reality of change creates a kind of shutdown response. Our nervous system says: Too much. Not safe. Stay still.

Why Autumn and Winter Amplify This Pattern

There's a reason so many of us feel this particularly acutely as we move through autumn into winter.

Nature gives us the most visual demonstration of transformation. The trees release their leaves, not because they've failed, but because that cycle is complete. Autumn invites us to acknowledge what's had its time and practice the art of letting go.

For those of us attuned to nature's cycles, this creates both opportunity and discomfort. We feel called to release what no longer serves, relationships, projects, identities, ways of being. But release requires acknowledging what needs to end, and that brings grief.

Then winter arrives with its invitation to go inward. More time indoors, more stillness, more reflection. And in that quieter space, the questions become unavoidable:

Did I do what I said I would this year?
Has this been the year I wanted, the one I deserve?
Am I fulfilling my highest potential?
Can I really go another year without creating this shift?

And there it is again, the autumn realisation of what needs to go, now amplified by the reflective quality of winter's approach.

Here's the thing: we often ignore the call the first time because we're scared of the work we know comes with transformation. But the knowing doesn't go away. It just gets louder.

I've seen it countless times. Clients who only listened when they got sick. Partners who only made changes when their relationship ended. Entrepreneurs who only got support when they completely burned out.

The body keeps the score. Life keeps calling. And eventually, if we don't listen to the whisper, we get the shout.

The Compassionate Practice of Watching Yourself Avoid

So what do you actually do when you're in this place? How do you move through without either forcing premature action or staying stuck indefinitely?

Here's what I've learned: First, we allow it. We let ourselves avoid however it's showing up. But….and this is crucial…..we need to watch ourselves doing it.

This might sound counterintuitive. Shouldn't you just push through? Force yourself into action?

No. Because when we shame ourselves or force action from a disconnected place, we either burn out or create change that doesn't stick.

The practice is to allow and be curious. Notice the pattern without judgment.

For some people, avoidance looks like suddenly being incredibly busy with everyone else's needs, saying yes to everything external so they don't have to focus on their own transformation. For others, it's binge-watching entire series, or developing an urgent need to reorganise the entire house.

For me? I can't even be bothered to watch TV or scroll. There's a low-grade malaise that settles in, and I find myself looking for external explanations. Is it hormonal? Is it Mercury retrograde? What phase of my cycle am I in?

All of these might be factors. But when the stuckness persists beyond what those explanations cover, there's usually something deeper calling for attention.

The key is to watch yourself with compassion, not to shame yourself into action.

Watch yourself make excuses. Watch yourself scroll or tidy or overcommit. Notice it without making yourself wrong. Ring a friend and say, "I'm in a funk, not sure how to shift it," then watch yourself give excuses for why their suggestions won't work.

It's a game of awareness and trust. Can you stay in the inquiry without blaming yourself?

Here's what happens when you can: eventually, there's only so long you can avoid before you start to name what's actually happening. The awareness builds naturally when you stop fighting it.

Invitation: For the next three days, simply notice your avoidance patterns without trying to change them. When you catch yourself in one, just note it: "Ah, I'm scrolling again," or "Interesting, I'm suddenly reorganising my entire kitchen." Watch yourself with the curiosity you'd bring to observing a fascinating creature in the wild.

The Questions That Create the Shift

There comes a point where you need to get honest with yourself. This is where authenticity and integrity become essential.

When you can say out loud, actually speak the words,"I cannot be bothered, what's the point?" something shifts. When you hear yourself, you can respond with genuine curiosity: "Hmm. I wonder what this is actually about?"

These are the questions I've learned to ask myself and guide my clients through:

• Is this fear of failure?

• Is it not feeling aligned with what I've committed to?

• Is it not believing I'm good enough to take the bigger steps?

• Is it fear of success and what that might demand of me?

• Is it grief for what I'll have to leave behind?

• Is it exhaustion from not having properly rested after my last big push?

When you can have this kind of honest dialogue with yourself, something shifts. The fog begins to clear.

I won't sugar-coat it: sometimes this inquiry cycle goes on for weeks. The process takes as long as it takes. But what I've learned is that there's a difference between honoring the timing and avoiding indefinitely.

You'll know you've crossed into productive territory when the energy shifts from "I'm exploring what's true" to "I know what's true and I'm scared to act on it."

That's when you're ready for the next step. Not before.

Meanwhile, be intentional about what you consume during this inquiry time. When you're in a funk, you're particularly susceptible to the energy around you. Podcasts, audiobooks, the voices you let into your space, choose ones that remind you of your highest self, not ones that reinforce the stuckness or the craziness in the world.

Our vibration is affected by the five people we spend the most time with. If you want to raise your vibration, invite in voices that fill you with good energy, new ideas, and expanded ways of thinking.

Making the Decision That Changes Everything

Here's what I've learned through my own process and in witnessing countless others move through transformation: there comes a point where your awareness demands a decision.

You've watched yourself with compassion. You've named what's happening. You've asked the honest questions. And now you know….really know…what needs to shift.

This is the moment where you have to make a choice. Not a forced choice, not a shamed choice, but a conscious one: I am ready to move toward this change.

And here's the beautiful thing: once you make that decision, once you truly commit to the shift, life meets you halfway. Opportunities appear. Resources show up. Conversations happen. Support materialises in ways you couldn't have orchestrated yourself.

But you have to make the decision first. You have to say, "Yes, I'm ready. I don't know exactly how this will unfold, but I'm stepping toward it."

What does this look like practically?

It might be booking that call with a coach or mentor. Having the conversation you've been avoiding. Signing up for the program. Making the financial commitment. Clearing space in your calendar. Speaking your intention out loud to someone who will hold you accountable.

The key is taking a concrete action that signals to yourself and to life that you're no longer just thinking about change, you're moving toward it.

For me, this looked like going on a fire quest, which I'll share more about in my next podcast. It was my way of ceremonially marking the completion of this year of shedding and preparing for what's next.

Because here's what my coach reminded me: this has been the year of the snake, the year of shedding old skins, old identities, old ways of being. But next year? Next year is the year of the horse. The year we travel on four legs again.

In the tradition I work in, the horse represents the abundant adult, a deeply spiritual being that can take us into the world of spirit from a place of experience, knowing, and strong foundations.

If you've been shedding this year, if you're feeling the call to step into something bigger, if you're in that "I can't be bothered" space right now….you're exactly on time.

You're not broken. You're not lazy. You're not behind.

You're in the chrysalis. And something beautiful is preparing to emerge.

• Practice: What has autumn revealed to you this year about what's ready to be released? What winter question keeps circling back? Write it down, even if you're not ready to act on it yet. Let yourself know that you know.

• Practice: Notice where you're experiencing this right now. Where in your life does something feel flat or exhausting that didn't used to? What change have you been avoiding? Just notice—no judgment, no fixing. Awareness is the first step..

Your Invitation to Step Forward

Listen: if you are thinking of upleveling, making a shift, stepping into something new, now is the time to start preparing. There is still time in this year to shed what's not serving you and begin laying the foundation for what's next.

And I want you to hear this clearly: You are ready. You are good enough. You're not just good enough, you are made for the next version of you to exist in the world.

Now is not the time to play small. Believe. Be bold. Live the life you were here to create.

If this speaks to you but you're feeling the weight of trying to keep yourself in alignment alone, don't do it alone.

You could gather friends and create a circle to release what's ready to go. Create a vision board. Build a new altar to honor what's coming.

Or if you want something tangible to help you get crystal clear on your unique values, vision, and mission, I've created Purpose Foundations—a powerful £27 offering that will help you identify exactly what you're here to do. I created this after running a similar session in my Life Compass Programme, and everyone found it so transformative.

Listen to the full podcast episode here: I Cannot Be Bothered: Recognising the Signs of Transformation. I dive even deeper into the practices and share more of my personal journey through this process.

And please, let me know how this lands for you. Comment on instagram, find me on social media, or drop me an email. I genuinely love hearing from you and learning what resonates on your journey.

Remember: that "I can't be bothered" feeling? It's not your enemy. It's a messenger. Listen to what it has to tell you.

With love and belief in your becoming,
Leona